It's a Bittersweet Biscuit to Swallow

I am writing this from my bed in America. Four days ago(has it been that long already?) on Saturday we woke up around 8 to get to the theatre by 9:30, practiced our piece in the actual theatre for the first time while the lighting cues were being figured out around us.  A quick lunch break and then it was time. The Aberdonian group went first, with a devised piece based on Hansel and Gretel, which was quite spooky actually. Then it was us. It went amazingly well. We were all practically off book from all of our rehearsal, and the entire play had been staged, so despite the lack of set it seemed put together. One tense moment when I couldn't find my script for the town hall scene and in a moment of panic grabbed Lily's from her hand, but in the end both she and I both knew all our lines and the audience was none the wiser. Having the audience always adds a new element to a show that you can't predict, and this time it gave me a huge jolt of energy. Everything I did was greater and at the end of the nightmare scene, where I'm supposed to scream a little monologue, when I'd finished I realized I'd screamed so loud that my abdominal muscles were cramping. It was a marvelous feeling when we'd finished. Most of all I'll treasure when Jodie(the actually playwright) told me I did a wonderful job. It was such an honor to work with her and I hope I will again. Judith hugged me and said it was amazing which was high praise coming from her. Dave told me it had been really good. it was so heartwarming to get praise from people whose opinion I value and who I dearly hope to work with again. We all did amazingly and I was so proud of everyone when the lights went down on the final scene and I realized we did the whole thing without a hitch.

The Aberdonians and all of us somehow managed to find a table for 18 and spent the time before our reservation getting Dave and Mallory's presents together. Amongst other things they got Britain's best Mum and Dad mugs, which I'm happy to say they found hilarious, if they hadn't I'm not sure how that conversation would have gone down. We ate and then headed back to the dorms. I finished packing and  took a shower, when I came downstairs to see what everyone was up to I found them all playing one of those strange games where you always end up saying strangly personal things(i.e. truth or dare), this one was called paranoia. Mallory, Dave and I sat in the corner and participated but after a while went up to bed. I hugged all the Aberdonians good bye, realizing that a year would be a very long time to have none of them in my life. Then, feeling sad about leaving them, I went to bed. That was about 11:30. At 3 am Dave knocked on my door to wake me up. When I'd dragged my self from bed and pulled on my airplane clothes, I went down the hall to Kemp's room when everyone else was, and had been from the past four hours. They were full to the gills with sugar and caffeine in an attempt to stay up all night and somehow beat the jet lag. They were giggly nostalgic bundles of tiredness. We all went out to the bus and, trying not to cry, I hugged Dave and Mallory good bye. I'll really miss them, their weird senses of humor and the lovely long conversations we'd had walking between the theatre and the dorms. Unlike the Aberdonians I don't have the certainty of knowing I'll see them next summer. But that's all the more reason to go back to Scotland soon. We climbed on the bus and waved goodbye until they were out of sight. I stared out the window as the bus rolled along, trying to take in every last sight of Aberdeen I could. It is a beautiful city, especially at night. Two hours later as I walked out to the the airplane that would take me to London Heathrow, I promised Scotland I would be back.

The next 15 hours were an unpleasant blur of airport and then airplane. When I stumbled out of the gate at SFO I was ready to sleep for a very long time. I came home and Mom and Dad got me sushi, proof that they're exemplary parents. I fell asleep in my own bed, and had the most relaxed sleep I'd had for two weeks.

Now a few days later I'm finally getting my feet back under me. Emotionally I'm having a ping pong match that seems firmly tied. As exciting and adventurous as travel is it serves the very important purpose of reminding you to be grateful for home. Home may or may not be where the heart is, but more importantly home is where your bed, your refrigerator, and your washing machine are. Home is also, for me at least, where you are comfortable. Where you know people will laugh at your jokes, and if they don't laugh at least understand what you were trying to say. The result of being very close with my parents is that we have a sort of language, well more a dialect all our own. When I'm out on my own for prolonged periods of time, I discover just how foreign that dialect can seem. It is a great relief to be home. On the other hand I'm missing Scotland a lot more than you'd think only two weeks there would produce. I miss all the granite stone houses and cobblestone streets. I miss hearing a scottish or english accent and not a californian upward inflection from the people behind cash registers and coffee counters. I miss the fog and the fickle tempered rain. I wish I could go to another ceilidh and dance with Scottish strangers and friends again. Most of all, I miss the people I spent those two weeks with, so much so that its like a stomach ache when I think of them. I'm glad that returning home felt good, otherwise I would be very miserable, but I don't want to let go of my longing for Scotland either.

All in all I'm very glad I went on this trip, and I'm very grateful I got to see Scotland. I don't know how I will accomplish it, but I will be going back someday in the not to distant future. I will most definitely be going back to Aberdeen, but I also want to explore Glasgow and Edinburgh.

This post marks the end of one journey, but I hope soon I will be writing one to mark the beginning of another.

Sincerely,

Drama Queen

P.S. The play will go up in February. I'll let you know how its going.